In my last post I wrote about how I was sick on my birthday, and how for the umpteenth year in a row my birthday pretty much sucked. Well, shortly after I wrote that I found out that I wasn’t just laid up with some random cold, but with Dengue Fever.
Dengue is a mosquito born illness for which there is no treatment or cure. Its symptoms include a fever, a headache and pain in the eyes, a rash, muscle aches and pains that make it feel like your bones are breaking from the inside out, and an overwhelming desire to sleep. Because of the bone pain, Dengue is sometimes called Bonebreak fever. I will attest to the fact that it really does feel like your bones are breaking.
My fever at one point went up to 104.5, and even with meds and ice packs the lowest it went for a week was down to 100F. I can’t tell you how miserable it is to have a fever that high when you’re in a tropical country! It’s horrible not being able to feel warm when you’re nearly on the equator!
Already it is two weeks since my birthday, and I am starting to notice some improvement in my health—the fever left a last week, and the rash is gone, thank God, but I’m still so incredibly tired and every time I cough or move I get pains through my body. I do have to say, that rash is something I would NEVER wish on my worst enemy. It felt like my entire body was being ravaged by fire ants, twenty-four hours a day. And it covered my entire body.
Now that I’m on the mend, I’m looking forward to getting back to my village soon. I haven’t seen my host family in two weeks and I miss them a lot. I’m still sleeping an inordinate amount of time, but even if I’m sleeping, it will be nice to be back with my family. The best part, I think, will be getting to hug my mom and snuggle with her while she checks my hair for lice and ticks. It sounds so backwater, I know, but it’s the simplest little things here that remind me that I’m loved.
Also, something I have to think about is whether I want to keep doing this. The doctor today encouraged me to think about going home. The fact of the matter is, each time you get dengue it gets worse and every time gets you one step closer to having hemorrhagic fever, which can cause all kinds of lovely bleeding. The doc pointed out that I’ve been a very sick woman here in Cambodia, and it just seems like I can’t catch a break. I know that I don’t want to go home—I am doing what I love to do, and what I believe is my purpose at this time in my life. I also know, though, that there’s only so much abuse my body can take without impacting my ability to do good things in the future.
I have very wise parents and friends, and they’ve all taught me that making important decisions while you’re sick/impaired/etc, is not a good idea, so for now the decision goes on the back burner. When I’m well, and that may be another month yet, I’ll start to think about the big picture and whether or not continuing here is in my best interest.
Until then, love and blessings from Cambodia.
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