Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
"That is the way it is in Cambodia.."
February 10 started out a pretty good day. I like Wednesdays normally, because I have really really good classes on those days--my students are actually interested in English and they are eager to learn. I was looking forward to the day. I got to school and one of my friends, Tin Tourin, handed me an invitation to her wedding which was to take place on the 26th of this month. I felt really included in my community and valued by my friend--normally at Khmer weddings all the attendees are required to give money to the bride and groom and she had told me specifically not to give them money because not only am I a volunteer (and therefore poor as snot) but she really just wanted me there for my support and friendship and not my money.
I finished my morning classes early. My last class of the morning, a 2 hour block with 11th graders, was astoundingly smooth and the students actually understood the material. We finished an entire lesson forty-five minutes early, which meant that I would get a great nap in before my afternoon classes (which are always so draining because of the heat). It was at this time that the day took a tragic turn.
The following is an excerpt from an email I sent home, explaining the event:
"At approximately 10:30am I was leaving the school, having finished my
morning classes. I was leaving the school with my housemate, Suy, and
ahead of us was our friend Tin Tourin. As my housemate and I
approached the school gate we watched in horror as a van swerved into
the wrong lane and hit Tourin head on. Her moto was pinned beneath
the nose of the car and she was dragged for some 50 meters before the
moto dislodged and tossed her to the side of the road. The van did
not stop. I rushed to Tourin and began to give CPR, but I am sad to
say my efforts were useless and she died. An ambulance was called to
take her body away and the police came to take pictures, but because
the van was not from my village and the destination was unknown, it is
unlikely that the driver will ever face justice. *(note: There will be no investigation.)
It is true that death is no respecter of persons. That very morning
Tourin handed me an invitation to her wedding on the 26th of this
month, and by that evening I was sitting beside her family at the
first night of her funeral.
Tourin's family is very, very poor and the cost of a funeral is beyond
their means. As such, the teachers of my school, myself included,
donated all we could to help the family. Today the students decided
on their own that they too would help her family. With our combined
efforts it is believed that we will not only be able to pay for the
entire funeral (which includes not only three dayts of the initial
funeral, but a ceremony at 7 days, 100 days, 1 year, and 3 years
postmortem) but also the grief price ($1,500US) the driver of the van
would have had to pay if he had stopped or been caught.
In just a few hours I will go with the teachers of my school to attend
the cremation of Tourin's body. In the Buddhist tradition they
believe that the body is made of four elements (fire, wind, earth, and
water) and by burning the body on a funeral pyre the body then returns
to those four elements. Since I was the last to hold her this life, I
have been asked by her family to help set her free into the next. As
of yet I do not know what this entails, but if it will ease the grief
of her family and fiancee, I will do my best."
I did my part with the cremation (I helped cover her body with incense before they lit the pyre) and cried along with her family.
The part that got me was the response from the police, the students, and the rest of the people that came to the scene of the accident. When I expressed my shock and dismay about the whole situation, the callousness, as I saw it, they just shrugged their shoulders and said, "that is the way it is in Cambodia..."
I am deeply saddened by the entire event and, and events following it have slowed down my ability to process the whole thing...I am, however, eternally grateful to my family and friends back in the states who have been so supportive, as well as my family here in Cambodia, who have watched and supported as their strange American daughter tries to work through this.
I hope one day the work I do here, the work I will do after, and the work of those who are passionate and compassionate like me, will effect so much change in the world that never again will someone shrug their shoulders and say, "that's just the way it is..." when someone is killed in a hit and run. Or killed for any reason. Life is too precious for that.
I finished my morning classes early. My last class of the morning, a 2 hour block with 11th graders, was astoundingly smooth and the students actually understood the material. We finished an entire lesson forty-five minutes early, which meant that I would get a great nap in before my afternoon classes (which are always so draining because of the heat). It was at this time that the day took a tragic turn.
The following is an excerpt from an email I sent home, explaining the event:
"At approximately 10:30am I was leaving the school, having finished my
morning classes. I was leaving the school with my housemate, Suy, and
ahead of us was our friend Tin Tourin. As my housemate and I
approached the school gate we watched in horror as a van swerved into
the wrong lane and hit Tourin head on. Her moto was pinned beneath
the nose of the car and she was dragged for some 50 meters before the
moto dislodged and tossed her to the side of the road. The van did
not stop. I rushed to Tourin and began to give CPR, but I am sad to
say my efforts were useless and she died. An ambulance was called to
take her body away and the police came to take pictures, but because
the van was not from my village and the destination was unknown, it is
unlikely that the driver will ever face justice. *(note: There will be no investigation.)
It is true that death is no respecter of persons. That very morning
Tourin handed me an invitation to her wedding on the 26th of this
month, and by that evening I was sitting beside her family at the
first night of her funeral.
Tourin's family is very, very poor and the cost of a funeral is beyond
their means. As such, the teachers of my school, myself included,
donated all we could to help the family. Today the students decided
on their own that they too would help her family. With our combined
efforts it is believed that we will not only be able to pay for the
entire funeral (which includes not only three dayts of the initial
funeral, but a ceremony at 7 days, 100 days, 1 year, and 3 years
postmortem) but also the grief price ($1,500US) the driver of the van
would have had to pay if he had stopped or been caught.
In just a few hours I will go with the teachers of my school to attend
the cremation of Tourin's body. In the Buddhist tradition they
believe that the body is made of four elements (fire, wind, earth, and
water) and by burning the body on a funeral pyre the body then returns
to those four elements. Since I was the last to hold her this life, I
have been asked by her family to help set her free into the next. As
of yet I do not know what this entails, but if it will ease the grief
of her family and fiancee, I will do my best."
I did my part with the cremation (I helped cover her body with incense before they lit the pyre) and cried along with her family.
The part that got me was the response from the police, the students, and the rest of the people that came to the scene of the accident. When I expressed my shock and dismay about the whole situation, the callousness, as I saw it, they just shrugged their shoulders and said, "that is the way it is in Cambodia..."
I am deeply saddened by the entire event and, and events following it have slowed down my ability to process the whole thing...I am, however, eternally grateful to my family and friends back in the states who have been so supportive, as well as my family here in Cambodia, who have watched and supported as their strange American daughter tries to work through this.
I hope one day the work I do here, the work I will do after, and the work of those who are passionate and compassionate like me, will effect so much change in the world that never again will someone shrug their shoulders and say, "that's just the way it is..." when someone is killed in a hit and run. Or killed for any reason. Life is too precious for that.
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